Intuition, Initiation, and Imitation...

How do you convince someone to need you, too?

I remember the night before he left. He smiled at me and told me that he'd be back for me. I guess it was just easier to say than to do, then. Because he didn't really come back. He just sent me a ticket and said, "Hey, why don't you join me in LA?"

But, this isn't even abut him. It's about me. Not everyone around me understands this. Most of my friends and family are angry. They believe I am walking away from a perfectly reasonable life into a chaotic truth.

They haven't all realized that I need to do this. I need to stay in touch with the vibe. How do I not do it? How do I give this opportunity up when I know that the people that love me always will no matter how far away I go...

Miusic to Live By...

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music." ~ Angela Monet

My entire CD collection is gone. It's been pilfered and lifted and forgotten and outright stolen from me. A Perfect Circle, Dave Mattews Band, Aerosmith, Evenessence, Lenny Kravitz, Sugar Ray, Jameroquai, and the list goes on and on.

I've decided to move to LA. For those of you that have read Scotland's blog you know that there is a ticking time bomb in my pocket. I may soon be typing to you with both hands tied behind my back.

I am not going to miss the drama over the last 25 years. I am walking ahead, striving and pushing into my future. I know what you're thinking...why would I go when I could be a big fish in a small pond? But, this pond isn't that small. It's just full of ignorance, over-inflated ego, and judgement of minuta.

I want a big picture. I want to know that the truth is alive and free. LA is in it's prime. Some would say it's lazy and faddy. But, I know what kind of happness is afforded those that leave the shithole for the other side of the coin. I know because it is nice here but not perfect. I want to be a talent scout.

I want my green pasture. Maybe I fail again. But, maybe, just maybe, I succeed. I know what is true about my goals. I know what I need to see to be safe and secure. I know that this is not the end of something but the very real beginning. I need to be away to start again. I need to rise from the ashes of my life and be true to myself...regardless of the cost to those that believe they love me.

I've been hiding my of my life from people who believe they truly love me and now my only goal is to be true to the one that first saw beneathe the facade...Me.